We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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