well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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