He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
