he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
