So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
