I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
