tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
