Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
