I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
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