I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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