She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Holy sore nipples Batman
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
