I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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