I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize