well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
i think i just lost a toe
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
