that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
