she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize