I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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