i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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