Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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