i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
ugly people sure do ruin things
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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