I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I booty called her while she was in labor.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
