what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
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