Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
