come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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