is your mom at the bar?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
