your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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