So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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