I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize