I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Randomize
