You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
