apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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