ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
and you fell through a lawn chair
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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