Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
