he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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