His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
