Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I wish you could order shots online.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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