I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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