scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
