My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
so let's talk penis.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
