Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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