How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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