they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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