You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
