So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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