I think scott just propositioned me for sex
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i dont even know how to be here
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize