I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
