I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
