I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
