what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize