Will you blow on my dice?
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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