At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
