You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
