I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
