spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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