i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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