You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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