We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize