Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
