Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
