a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I did not marry a roomba.
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