I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
