so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
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