she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Randomize
